remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
