Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
