I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
