I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
