How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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