The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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