Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize