saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
