how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
