Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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