last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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