I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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