I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
