Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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