69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize