So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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