physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
