I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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