btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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