The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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