Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
