I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
