I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
