Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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