Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I bet he comes in French.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
