Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize