I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
