We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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