i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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