i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
