the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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