Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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