Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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