it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
