we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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