he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize