he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
