so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think pants incapable of making pants work
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
