I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
