I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
