apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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