it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
