How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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