walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sorry about my life...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
