I hope mine doesn't look like that
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
