Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
