My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
