Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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