the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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