covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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