I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
