worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
