Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize