The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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