Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
