I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
3pm strippers are depressing
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
