high people should be assigned attendants
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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