worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
