i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize