so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
