I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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