I'm lost and stupid without you.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
