Screwed.edu
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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