I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
