My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
